The Tortured Artist Bonnie Al-Rifai | A Mother’s Loss

As I was creating these images, I was having a miscarriage. I was pregnant. There was a baby growing inside me. But there wasn’t. It felt like an eternity of time spent waiting and wondering, holding onto a nonexistent hope of a miracle.My devastation and anger consumed me. People told me to be strong, which made me feel even weaker. More than anything, I felt completely alone.

I needed a way to express my feelings to the people who were trying to reach out to me but couldn’t get through. I needed something tangible to show my husband how I felt when the words failed me. Trying to push myself to find my art while I was in the middle of the pain was both extremely trying on my soul and incredibly healing at the same time.

When I shared my images with other women, I was overwhelmed with the response. I received letters from women all over the world who were able to face their own loss of a child through the connection they felt with my photographs. It was an unexpected gift to both give and receive from the universe.