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Artist Eike Waltz
Aptos, California USA
The Personalized Naked Slit-Fit-Chair
Sculpture made from painted wood and steel
Artist Statement
Probably the most uncomfortable chair ever presented as a supporting sculpture. Typically, every designers dream is to design a chair which is unique, cheap and above all comfortably represented in the Smithsonian. Rarely, if ever, the ideal sitting position on the chair is mentioned. After all, every rear end is unique. The naked slit-fit-chair function is based on the naked body slit shape, as the complexity of wearable fashion would affect the design. The prevailing notion is let raw flesh interface with pure design, hence naked. Now, the ideal naked slit arrangement is not only common to all of us humans but, also defines the natural embodiment of the two naked “cheeks” (a slit bang in the middle of the booty). Thank god for that. By matching the ideal “Slit-Fit-Chair” to your personal “slit shape” no one else will compete for its use unless, in rare occasions, your slit shape may match with someone else’s.
In such a case you may have found a partner for life. Just imagine… your naked body is truly interfacing with a naked sculpture. You may close your eyes and feel.. Like participating… in the Kiss… by Rodin. Your experience: …erotic ecstasy. At this point, all pain you endure by sitting on the naked slit fit chair must have fizzled into euphoria. Ladies… you may show off your hairy legs and buttocks whilst your fellow man can get his balls squeezed in an excruciating manner driving tears of pleasure downhill his rosy cheeks… followed by a Jurassic roar… ouiiiiii. And then, by offering your personalized “Slit-Fit-Chair” to an unauthorized non complying slit shape guest, you may rest assured that he or she will leave your lively party by demonstrating painfully squeezed knees…
The views expressed by our artists in their artist statements do not necessarily represent the views of our art galleries. Artists can be visually expressive but may verbally misrepresent their true intentions or ideas. Please note that we support expression, whether it is controversial or not, but our intention is never to offend.
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